Just for the record, huge-ass bongs are pointless. They’re a neat novelty, but they’re unwieldy to smoke, easy to break, expensive and an inefficient way to smoke weed.
Also this post was sparked by seeing someone on the side of the road being arrested with like a two foot bong. What a waste, America!
Here’s an interesting article about Emily Post’s great grand-daughter and her views on marijuana etiquette. I found it fascinating that way back in 1982, the Emily Post Institute wrote:
“Another problem that many hostesses face today is that of the guests who want to smoke marijuana. If the hostess approves of the practice and is untroubled by the fact that it is illegal, of course she has no problem. But if she does not approve and is concerned about people breaking the law in her home, she should say so firmly. The moment she sees the first joint being lighted or passed around she should tell her guests that she’s sorry if she’s being a spoilsport, but she doesn’t want people smoking in her home where she would be held responsible if the illegal use of marijuana were detected. Then rather than letting the group continue to sit and chat, she should get some lively games or activities under way to distract them.”
For more modern smokers, she recommends bringing a “glass jar or a joint or two” as a gift to parties, if you know the host smokes, which I agree is a fantastc alternative to a bottle of wine.
She also reminds hosts that it would be rude to sneak away with 1-2 guests to smoke pot, leaving out the rest of the party. I agree that is rude and inappropriate even though people do it all the time.
TheStranger.com has a list of things to do when you’re high. Hardly breaking new ground, but it’s some ideas (very specific to DC, but don’t worry, your city probably has rough equivalents).
It’s subtitled “Yes to Equal Rights, No to Shrimp Chips”. I’m almost frightened to read on and find out what shrimp chips are… I had squid jerky once, that was disgusting.
Sometimes it seems outsiders assume all stoners get along, like we’re all so bland and toked up that we can’t even manage to form any personal preferences. As soon as you admit you smoke, it’s all “oh, do you knew Jeremy? He’s got a purple bong.” Oh right, purple-bong-Jeremy, I know him, he’s got my lighter.
The Cannabist has a list of five things that makes stoners not want to get high with you (or not “you”, of course, venerable reader of my blog, everyone likes you; this is the royal “you”).
1: Exhaling through the bowl, which makes a big mess and is exactly opposite of what you’re supposed to do. The Cannabist calls this a “Buffalo Fart”, while acknowledging that the true Buffalo Fart is when you leave smoke in a bong for the next guy to clear. Either way, that’s just rude. Civilized stoners never do that.
2: Constantly talking about how high you are. This is indeed annoying. I’m high too, man. The reason I got high was because it’s fun to do stuff when I’m high; it’s not fun to just talk about how high I am.
3: Wetting the roach when you puff makes it gross and unsanitary. Indeed, this is a major faux-pas. The Cannabist also wants you to refrain from using the racial slur “nigger-lipping”, which is also obviously recommended against for polite smokers (but duh, if you were a polite smoker, you wouldn’t need me to tell you not to use the verb “nigger-lip”). I just wanted to point out that the Cannabist sucks in refusing to even tell you what the term is. It doesn’t help anyone to dance around sensitive subjects.
4: I’ve never heard of anyone yelling “Cops!” as a joke when getting high. But that would obviously be inappropriate.
5: Taking a picture of a smoker and putting it online without their permission. Obviously inappropriate.
Here’s an interesting one:
Rather than meeting up at a gas station parking lot or behind someone’s garage, proper “stoner” etiquette would dictate that any source who does come through with a requested amount be treated in a certain manner, such as having a secure location for delivery and having their client spend a few minutes to “smoke out” or share their newly purchased merchandise. Acknowledging someone who will go out of their way to make a delivery, putting their freedom at risk, deserves a certain amount of respect.
That’s from the rather excellent Ladybug blog, which I adore. I agree with all of it, though I’d like the point out that there’s a difference between the “friend hooking you up” and the “drug dealer selling you weed”. If it’s your friend, you should absolutely share your weed with him — of course if he’s your friend, you were probably going to do that anyway.
Professional drug dealers usually don’t smoke their own stash and/or are too busy to smoke with you. A lot of them simply don’t smoke with their clients, just like a therapist won’t hang out with her patients.
The Ladybug’s other points are well-received and appropriate.