Tag Archives: etiquette

Always save some green

Here’s the stoner rule of the day: always save some green!

That means that, if you take the first hit off a bowl or bong, you should only hit it from one side, that way you get a bit of the green unburnt weed on top, but there’s still more green unburnt weed on top, on the other side of the hitter. This way the next person in the circle will get some greens as well. Even if you are the only person smoking, you’ll enjoy it more if you get a couple hits with greens rather than just one.

Of course this can’t continue forever. Depending on the size of the bowl, you should get at least two, maybe three or even four green hits. (If you’ve got a Cheech & Chong-sized bowl, you’ll get like a dozen).

Also don’t expect new smokers to follow this. A lot of people like to show off how much they know, but new people won’t know or understand what this means. Let them get the hang of smoking a bong first, then hassle them about this.

For the record, I don’t know of any scientific evidence that smoking “the green” gets you higher than smoking “the black”.

Times not to be stoned

Here’s a list of times you shouldn’t be stoned, which is always good to keep in mind. Number Five is the most important one IMHO


5. When you’re the only person smoking weed at a party

You thought it would be cool with the host to spark up your J upon walking in the front door. But now you’re being asked to leave, having offended everyone in the party – and now getting the attention of the off-duty cop who just showed up. Yikes!


Yikes… I’ve been that dude, sorry to say.

pass to the left

Is this a real rule? What do you think? I say no, there’s not really any reason to follow it. It’s just tradition. If it makes you happy, then you should always pass to the left. Otherwise don’t worry about it.

For the record that “Pass the dutchie to the left-hand side” song does not have anything directly to do with weed. The “dutchie” is a cooking vessel, like a Dutch oven. The singer is suggesting you share your food (to the left). It is, however, a cover of a song about weed, but the band, Musical Youth, was a pop group, so they removed any reference to marijuana and made it a song about food.

Also, when you’re in a car, you should pass to the right, such that the person in the driver’s seat passes behind him and the driver receives it from the person in the front passenger seat. That’s because it is easier for the driver to receive it from someone he can see. I am not endorsing smoking while you drive. This is how you should do it when you are sitting in a parked car.

Buying weed illegally

Here’s an article from Ladybud with some great tips on buying weed in states where it is still illegal.

I want to bring attention to one rule in particular:

Plan carefully and be clear with your source. Ensure they know exactly what amount you intend to purchase, either by weight or monetary worth. Also be specific if there is a choice of strain.

That’s because this is important, and a lot of people forget it. They’ll say “oh, okay, here’s some weed, hand over the cash” as though this is a movie and you can just glide over the details like how much weed you’re getting, how good it is, etc. You need to actually talk over the transaction before you do it.

Good luck, and be sure to read the whole article if there’s any change you’re going to buy weed in an illegal state anytime soon.

smoking at a party

Here’s another article on stoner etiquette from the California Aggie. It’s got some great tips that I adhere to as well.

6. Don’t expect to be smoked out at a party.

It’s always nice to meet friendly and willing tokers at parties, but beware of strangers preying on your weed like starved piranhas in a lake full of bloody caribous. Similarly, don’t assume any stranger will smoke you out like you deserve it.

This is a great tip that often annoys me when people break it (and it’s a fantastic analogy, ruined by the fact that caribous is not a word and they do not live near piranhas). A lot of times people assume that if two people are smoking at a party, that anyone can join in and smoke too. But “head count” is an issue (i.e. the more people in the smoking circle, the less high everyone will get, even with more weed to compensate) and it’s simply rude to assume you can toke off someone else’s weed.

Smoking weed with your dealer

Here’s an interesting one:


Rather than meeting up at a gas station parking lot or behind someone’s garage, proper “stoner” etiquette would dictate that any source who does come through with a requested amount be treated in a certain manner, such as having a secure location for delivery and having their client spend a few minutes to “smoke out” or share their newly purchased merchandise. Acknowledging someone who will go out of their way to make a delivery, putting their freedom at risk, deserves a certain amount of respect.



That’s from the rather excellent Ladybug blog, which I adore. I agree with all of it, though I’d like the point out that there’s a difference between the “friend hooking you up” and the “drug dealer selling you weed”. If it’s your friend, you should absolutely share your weed with him — of course if he’s your friend, you were probably going to do that anyway.

Professional drug dealers usually don’t smoke their own stash and/or are too busy to smoke with you. A lot of them simply don’t smoke with their clients, just like a therapist won’t hang out with her patients.

The Ladybug’s other points are well-received and appropriate.

12 Rules for Stoner Etiquette

These rules came from a book called Pot Culture by Shirley Halperin and Steve Bloom. It’s a good book, and I recommend it — at least for those of who have already read my book of stoner etiquette.

1) Always Share: Good advice IMHO. If at all possible, you should always have weed of your own — even if it’s only a little shake, it’s good to show that you care about etiquette.

2) Be Prepared: Break up your buds! Tons of smokers just smoke a bud and think that’ll be okay. But you are wasting a huge amount of weed, and making it more difficult to smoke. Ideally use a grinder, or at least your fingers, to break it up!

3) Pass to the Left: Pass the dutchie on the left-hand side (yes, I know weed is not what that kid was singing about).

4) Offer to a Friend First: Good advice for most anything. Always offer to give somebody else the first toke/bite/drink/screw.

5) Know the Pot’s Potency: Nothing will ruin a group’s high like one person having a bad trip on strong weed. Tell newbies when it’s powerful stuff.

6) Puff Puff Pass is OK: Do not hang out gesticulating with a lit joint! It’s rude and wasteful!

7) If You Don’t Have Weed of Your Own, Ask Politely: It’s just rude to jump in a circle without being invited.

8) Don’t Scorch the Bowl: Everybody likes the green, so don’t take it all. Leave a bit for the next guy if possible.

9) Flush the Toilet: Clear the bong when you have finished your weed, so the next smoker doesn’t get a bong full of smoke.

10) Give the Tobacco Warning: A lot of people have quit smoking tobacco, so if you mix it with your weed, give a warning.

11) Watch the Spit: The book Pot Culture recommends using your fingers as a barrier between your mouth and the bowl. This seems ridiculous to me, just don’t slobber all over it. There’s no way the finger thing would work anyway — if you have germs in your spit, they can fit through your fingers. Germs are very small.

12) Keep it Clean: Change your bong water, clean your pipe, etc.

13) Don’t Pocket Someone Else’s Lighter: Another good rule, it’s easy to accidentally pocket a light when smoking. Don’t be that guy.

Smoking in public?

Is it wrong to smoke marijuana in public? NPR investigates

I think the same rules should apply to marijuana as to tobacco. Anywhere smoking cigarettes is banned, smoking marijuana, in any form, should also be banned (with the exception, on both the tobacco and marijuana side of things, of vaporizing, which doesn’t have a smell and is therefore acceptable anywhere but formal occasions). That just seems like common-sense to me.

So do people avoid smoking cigarettes outside or get a ticket? No, then marijuana shouldn’t be treated any differently. If you’re in a downtown city — which seems to be the context of the NPR piece — you are inhaling smog, cigarette smoke, probably some radon, leaking gas and god only knows what emanating from the industrial district. Marijuana smoke is probably about the healthiest contaminant you are inhaling. Just get over yourself.

Just kidding, Seattleites, I know you are incapable of getting over yourselves.

Weed Weddings!

Here’s an article about marijuana-themed weddings, entitled “Yes, We Cannabis” — ha! Good pun, PQ Monthly.

First of all, I don’t intend to get married. Marriage is for suckers, and in any case, I’m single and likely to remain more or less unencumbered for the foreseeable future.

With that said, I do like the idea of weed wedding. Of course, it “begs the question” (in quotes because I know full well that that isn’t how that idiom is supposed to be used) of how non-smokers are supposed to act. That seems like a difficult  and thorny issue, but it isn’t really: the vast majority of weddings now include alcohol, and some people don’t drink that. So if you are not a smoker and you are invited to a weed wedding, by all means, feel free to say no. That leaves more conubial cannabis for the rest of us.