Here’s a good summary of the basic rules, from the Daily Nexus’ Laurel Rinehart.
Stoner Etiquette: A Beginner’s Guide
It’s not the best-written or the most thorough example of a guide to stoner etiquette, but it is a good one and it’s free. My book is, of course, also available and is much more complete, not to mention better-written.
Here’s some “stoner superstitions” from Leafly. I’ve never heard of the “white lighter” one:
Smoking cannabis with one carries extremely negative vibes. The bad juju can lead to broken bongs, getting busted, or even having your grow ruined by weather. Avoid using a white lighter to smoke cannabis at all costs or suffer certain catastrophe.
When I was in high school, people said that some color lighter meant you were gay. I don’t remember which color (maybe red?). Anyway, this just seems like fleeting rumor, not a real superstition. But we shall see whether people are still talking about it in a few years.
Also, the idea that you should punch people who cough on a hit is stupid. Aside from being mean and needlessly violent, coughing is a good thing; it gets you higher. No one should be punished for that.
Okay, here’s a good one that everyone seems to ignore:
Marijuana has many health benefits, but keeping a person from getting a cold isn’t one of them. If you’re sick, make sure to tell everyone. Better yet, bring your own one-hitter or cup your hand around the mouthpiece to avoid cross contamination.
It’s from the excellent Colorado Pot Guide.
I don’t know why everyone forgets about this. Even stoners who are excessively germ-conscious in other contexts — like sharing drinks — often have no compunctions about sharing a slobbery blunt. I have been told that the heat from smoking kills bacteria, which is undoubtedly true to some degree but not enough to sterilize it, certainly (maybe a cheapie one-hitter, since they get very hot indeed, but not a bowl or bong, and certainly not a joint or blunt).
Here’s another article on stoner etiquette from the California Aggie. It’s got some great tips that I adhere to as well.
6. Don’t expect to be smoked out at a party.
It’s always nice to meet friendly and willing tokers at parties, but beware of strangers preying on your weed like starved piranhas in a lake full of bloody caribous. Similarly, don’t assume any stranger will smoke you out like you deserve it.
This is a great tip that often annoys me when people break it (and it’s a fantastic analogy, ruined by the fact that caribous is not a word and they do not live near piranhas). A lot of times people assume that if two people are smoking at a party, that anyone can join in and smoke too. But “head count” is an issue (i.e. the more people in the smoking circle, the less high everyone will get, even with more weed to compensate) and it’s simply rude to assume you can toke off someone else’s weed.
Here’s an interesting article about Emily Post’s great grand-daughter and her views on marijuana etiquette. I found it fascinating that way back in 1982, the Emily Post Institute wrote:
“Another problem that many hostesses face today is that of the guests who want to smoke marijuana. If the hostess approves of the practice and is untroubled by the fact that it is illegal, of course she has no problem. But if she does not approve and is concerned about people breaking the law in her home, she should say so firmly. The moment she sees the first joint being lighted or passed around she should tell her guests that she’s sorry if she’s being a spoilsport, but she doesn’t want people smoking in her home where she would be held responsible if the illegal use of marijuana were detected. Then rather than letting the group continue to sit and chat, she should get some lively games or activities under way to distract them.”
For more modern smokers, she recommends bringing a “glass jar or a joint or two” as a gift to parties, if you know the host smokes, which I agree is a fantastc alternative to a bottle of wine.
She also reminds hosts that it would be rude to sneak away with 1-2 guests to smoke pot, leaving out the rest of the party. I agree that is rude and inappropriate even though people do it all the time.