Tag Archives: politeness


Here’s some “stoner superstitions” from Leafly. I’ve never heard of the “white lighter” one:

Smoking cannabis with one carries extremely negative vibes. The bad juju can lead to broken bongs, getting busted, or even having your grow ruined by weather. Avoid using a white lighter to smoke cannabis at all costs or suffer certain catastrophe.

When I was in high school, people said that some color lighter meant you were gay. I don’t remember which color (maybe red?). Anyway, this just seems like fleeting rumor, not a real superstition. But we shall see whether people are still talking about it in a few years.

Also, the idea that you should punch people who cough on a hit is stupid. Aside from being mean and needlessly violent, coughing is a good thing; it gets you higher. No one should be punished for that.


Smoking necessities?

Here’s a supposed list of 9 smoking necessities! Most of them are silly nonsense, it’s just a listicle, but it’s worthwhile to highlight one thing in particular: a grinder!


A grinder is definitely a go-to stoner tool because it makes for easier, quicker smoking. You place your bud in the top of the grinder – the lid and the bottom of the top chamber have teeth and this is what grinds up the weed – put the lid back on. In just a quick few seconds of grinding, you have perfectly ground-up cannabis that can be used to roll a blunt or a joint, or pack a bowl of fresh greens.

There are metal grinders that are magnetic so you don’t actually have to screw the lid on, and you can twist the lid both ways to grind up the buds. Most of the better metal grinders have 3 units; the top part grinds the bud, the middle section stores the ground greens, and in the bottom, a screen catches and collects kief that falls from the buds when it gets ground up.

One of the few pieces of specialized weed equipment that I wholeheartedly endorse. I don’t know how I smoked weed before I had one.

pass to the left

Is this a real rule? What do you think? I say no, there’s not really any reason to follow it. It’s just tradition. If it makes you happy, then you should always pass to the left. Otherwise don’t worry about it.

For the record that “Pass the dutchie to the left-hand side” song does not have anything directly to do with weed. The “dutchie” is a cooking vessel, like a Dutch oven. The singer is suggesting you share your food (to the left). It is, however, a cover of a song about weed, but the band, Musical Youth, was a pop group, so they removed any reference to marijuana and made it a song about food.

Also, when you’re in a car, you should pass to the right, such that the person in the driver’s seat passes behind him and the driver receives it from the person in the front passenger seat. That’s because it is easier for the driver to receive it from someone he can see. I am not endorsing smoking while you drive. This is how you should do it when you are sitting in a parked car.

Buying weed illegally

Here’s an article from Ladybud with some great tips on buying weed in states where it is still illegal.

I want to bring attention to one rule in particular:

Plan carefully and be clear with your source. Ensure they know exactly what amount you intend to purchase, either by weight or monetary worth. Also be specific if there is a choice of strain.

That’s because this is important, and a lot of people forget it. They’ll say “oh, okay, here’s some weed, hand over the cash” as though this is a movie and you can just glide over the details like how much weed you’re getting, how good it is, etc. You need to actually talk over the transaction before you do it.

Good luck, and be sure to read the whole article if there’s any change you’re going to buy weed in an illegal state anytime soon.

smoking at a party

Here’s another article on stoner etiquette from the California Aggie. It’s got some great tips that I adhere to as well.

6. Don’t expect to be smoked out at a party.

It’s always nice to meet friendly and willing tokers at parties, but beware of strangers preying on your weed like starved piranhas in a lake full of bloody caribous. Similarly, don’t assume any stranger will smoke you out like you deserve it.

This is a great tip that often annoys me when people break it (and it’s a fantastic analogy, ruined by the fact that caribous is not a word and they do not live near piranhas). A lot of times people assume that if two people are smoking at a party, that anyone can join in and smoke too. But “head count” is an issue (i.e. the more people in the smoking circle, the less high everyone will get, even with more weed to compensate) and it’s simply rude to assume you can toke off someone else’s weed.

Emily Post’s grand-daughter on marijuana etiquette

Here’s an interesting article about Emily Post’s great grand-daughter and her views on marijuana etiquette. I found it fascinating that way back in 1982, the Emily Post Institute wrote:


“Another problem that many hostesses face today is that of the guests who want to smoke marijuana. If the hostess approves of the practice and is untroubled by the fact that it is illegal, of course she has no problem. But if she does not approve and is concerned about people breaking the law in her home, she should say so firmly. The moment she sees the first joint being lighted or passed around she should tell her guests that she’s sorry if she’s being a spoilsport, but she doesn’t want people smoking in her home where she would be held responsible if the illegal use of marijuana were detected. Then rather than letting the group continue to sit and chat, she should get some lively games or activities under way to distract them.”

For more modern smokers, she recommends bringing a “glass jar or a joint or two” as a gift to parties, if you know the host smokes, which I agree is a fantastc alternative to a bottle of wine.

She also reminds hosts that it would be rude to sneak away with 1-2 guests to smoke pot, leaving out the rest of the party. I agree that is rude and inappropriate even though people do it all the time.

Things stoners hate

Sometimes it seems outsiders assume all stoners get along, like we’re all so bland and toked up that we can’t even manage to form any personal preferences. As soon as you admit you smoke, it’s all “oh, do you knew Jeremy? He’s got a purple bong.” Oh right, purple-bong-Jeremy, I know him, he’s got my lighter.

The Cannabist has a list of five things that makes stoners not want to get high with you (or not “you”, of course, venerable reader of my blog, everyone likes you; this is the royal “you”).

1: Exhaling through the bowl, which makes a big mess and is exactly opposite of what you’re supposed to do. The Cannabist calls this a “Buffalo Fart”, while acknowledging that the true Buffalo Fart is when you leave smoke in a bong for the next guy to clear. Either way, that’s just rude. Civilized stoners never do that.

2: Constantly talking about how high you are. This is indeed annoying. I’m high too, man. The reason I got high was because it’s fun to do stuff when I’m high; it’s not fun to just talk about how high I am.

3: Wetting the roach when you puff makes it gross and unsanitary. Indeed, this is a major faux-pas. The Cannabist also wants you to refrain from using the racial slur “nigger-lipping”, which is also obviously recommended against for polite smokers (but duh, if you were a polite smoker, you wouldn’t need me to tell you not to use the verb “nigger-lip”). I just wanted to point out that the Cannabist sucks in refusing to even tell you what the term is. It doesn’t help anyone to dance around sensitive subjects.

4: I’ve never heard of anyone yelling “Cops!” as a joke when getting high. But that would obviously be inappropriate.

5: Taking a picture of a smoker and putting it online without their permission. Obviously inappropriate.

Smoking weed with your dealer

Here’s an interesting one:


Rather than meeting up at a gas station parking lot or behind someone’s garage, proper “stoner” etiquette would dictate that any source who does come through with a requested amount be treated in a certain manner, such as having a secure location for delivery and having their client spend a few minutes to “smoke out” or share their newly purchased merchandise. Acknowledging someone who will go out of their way to make a delivery, putting their freedom at risk, deserves a certain amount of respect.



That’s from the rather excellent Ladybug blog, which I adore. I agree with all of it, though I’d like the point out that there’s a difference between the “friend hooking you up” and the “drug dealer selling you weed”. If it’s your friend, you should absolutely share your weed with him — of course if he’s your friend, you were probably going to do that anyway.

Professional drug dealers usually don’t smoke their own stash and/or are too busy to smoke with you. A lot of them simply don’t smoke with their clients, just like a therapist won’t hang out with her patients.

The Ladybug’s other points are well-received and appropriate.

12 Rules for Stoner Etiquette

These rules came from a book called Pot Culture by Shirley Halperin and Steve Bloom. It’s a good book, and I recommend it — at least for those of who have already read my book of stoner etiquette.

1) Always Share: Good advice IMHO. If at all possible, you should always have weed of your own — even if it’s only a little shake, it’s good to show that you care about etiquette.

2) Be Prepared: Break up your buds! Tons of smokers just smoke a bud and think that’ll be okay. But you are wasting a huge amount of weed, and making it more difficult to smoke. Ideally use a grinder, or at least your fingers, to break it up!

3) Pass to the Left: Pass the dutchie on the left-hand side (yes, I know weed is not what that kid was singing about).

4) Offer to a Friend First: Good advice for most anything. Always offer to give somebody else the first toke/bite/drink/screw.

5) Know the Pot’s Potency: Nothing will ruin a group’s high like one person having a bad trip on strong weed. Tell newbies when it’s powerful stuff.

6) Puff Puff Pass is OK: Do not hang out gesticulating with a lit joint! It’s rude and wasteful!

7) If You Don’t Have Weed of Your Own, Ask Politely: It’s just rude to jump in a circle without being invited.

8) Don’t Scorch the Bowl: Everybody likes the green, so don’t take it all. Leave a bit for the next guy if possible.

9) Flush the Toilet: Clear the bong when you have finished your weed, so the next smoker doesn’t get a bong full of smoke.

10) Give the Tobacco Warning: A lot of people have quit smoking tobacco, so if you mix it with your weed, give a warning.

11) Watch the Spit: The book Pot Culture recommends using your fingers as a barrier between your mouth and the bowl. This seems ridiculous to me, just don’t slobber all over it. There’s no way the finger thing would work anyway — if you have germs in your spit, they can fit through your fingers. Germs are very small.

12) Keep it Clean: Change your bong water, clean your pipe, etc.

13) Don’t Pocket Someone Else’s Lighter: Another good rule, it’s easy to accidentally pocket a light when smoking. Don’t be that guy.